but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
