at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
