Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
