his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize