what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
