Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize