How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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