yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
