Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Farmville is her only friend.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
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