P.S. I can't hear my feet
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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