It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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