youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
