i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
