it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
