I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
