Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
