plz talk dirty to me
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize