YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
