i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
