apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
