My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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