shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
