The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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