hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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