I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
