There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
