Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
