Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
