dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
