i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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