I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
