his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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