I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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