So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We were destined to go to rehab together
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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