did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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