just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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