I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
