We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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