Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
