Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
