I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
