I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
