Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize