dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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