ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize