Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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