He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize
