oh god the rape fog is back!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
