8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
