i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
