I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
