I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
