Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm too high and old for this...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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