i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
