You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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