Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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