Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
