I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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