I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
