do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
