that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
