Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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