i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
