I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
