Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
