nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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