Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
