what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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