Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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