Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
