ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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