STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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