like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
