She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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